Poor Herb!

(What a stud!)

I was listening to my iPod on the way home from work today, and “Rise” by Herb Alpert came on.

I was instantly reminded of what a sexy and fun song it is. Or was, until Biggie’s fat ass ruined it.

Now every time I hear it, all that runs through my mind is “Biggie Biggie Biggie – can’t you see?”

I really hope Wendy’s fucks over Biggies estate (a.k.a. – his illegitimate kids) and uses it for a commercial.

So back to Herb -

Back in 1979, “General Hospital” was the biggest soap on the air at the time, and they decided to use “Rise” in one of their episodes. I can imagine how the conversation went:

ABC: “Hey Herb, hows it going? You feeding your people over there?
Herb: (laughing) “Of course! Why?”
ABC: “Well I saw a picture of Karen in the Midnight Globe and she’s looking a little thin…”
Herb: “Naw, she’s just stressed.”
ABC: “Well, the reason we’re calling is to ask you if we can use “Rise” in an upcoming episode. It’s an important episode, and we feel your song will fit in great with the theme and enhance the mood.”
Herb: “WOW! Of course! I love General Hospital! It’s really an honor, and I’m a really big fan. Will the song be in a scene with Nurse Bobbie? She’s fucking hot!”
ABC: “Well, not exactly….”

Cut to October, 1979.

General Hospital played the song “Rise” while Luke was raping Laura at the Campus Disco.

I bet Herb was proud!

Poor Herb – he just wanted to make a sexy and fun disco song. Now it’s forever known as the “Luke and Laura Rape Song”.

I’m surprised that there weren’t any “woman’s groups” protesting, saying Herb Alpert songs will turn you into a rapist.

If anything, the song just makes me want to wear my hair in glitter cornrows and roller skate around with big headphones and a ghettoblaster on my shoulder.

Rise (The Official Video)

(I didn’t know Garrett Morris was in his band!)

Luke Rapes Laura – General Hospital, October 1979
(Skip to about 7:40)