It’s a Long Way to McDonalds (if you want to rock n’ roll)

Pho Phridays – NSFW edition!

Mmm…Vietnamese food. Don’t get started, because I already know every Vietnamese food joke out there (vet clinic next door, missing cats in the neighborhood, etc…). So why don’t you stop talking out your ass, get some balls, and try it?

So one of my all time favorite things to eat is Pho. Pho is basically Vietnamese [...]

Snippets, Part 367

Myrtle likes herself some fancy root beer.
I usually get the Dog’s N’ Suds (my favorite), but I thought I’d try out a different one to see if it could kick The Pup’s ass.
So in this fight we have the returning champion, Dog’s N’ Suds, versus Berghoff.

Rib Sticking Good

I was reading the Dollar Stretcher again, and I came across (don’t worry, I cleaned it up) this question in the “Recipe” section (right below the now famous Homemade A1 Steak Sauce question):
“I was wondering if anyone has tips for making inexpensive oatmeal?”
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
IF YOU CAN’T EVEN AFFORD OATMEAL, JUST CURL UP AND DIE ALREADY!!!!!!
But hark, [...]

Seriously Folks…..

I read this web page called The Dollar Stretcher (www.stretcher.com) because they have a lot of good ideas for crafts, entertaining, etc… It’s a good web page, but some of the people on it are soooooo fucking cheap ass. I saw this question asked in the Recipes section:
“We love A1 sauce, but it is so [...]

Who likes Ramen?

While going through folders on my computer, I found the folder that had all of my “food writing”. And because I’m fat, it made me hungry.
Let me explain – years and years ago, I used do a MySpace page called “The Ghetto Gourmet” and I would write stories, reviews, complaints, recipes, whatever, as long as [...]

To all the ice cream I’ve loved before….

I went grocery shopping today. I’ve been on this ice cream kick lately, so I stopped at the ice cream aisle and I checked out the Ben n’ Jerrys.
I never was really a fan until lately. Maybe because I was never impressed with their fucking hippie jack-off flavors and causes? Yeah, that was probably it.
But [...]

Drive-In Week – Day 2: Intermission Time!

I don’t remember seeing many drive-in intermission clips when I was a kid. Mostly because my parents always left before the second movie, but I do remember seeing some intermission stuff, especially the one for the gross-looking snack bar pizza. Until the day she died, whenever my mother saw a cheap looking pizza, she would [...]

Pick Up Stix Shitz

Healthy Chinese food is such an oxy-moron, like “jumbo shrimp” and “Armenian with a big cock”. Homemade Chinese food is pretty decent for you , but fast food Chinese food is such a fucking joke – you might as well throw fried noodles on a salt lick.
“YOU EAT EGGRO NOWWWWW!”
Pick Up Stix (hereby referred [...]

Dueling Myrtles

If you’re around the same age as Myrtle, you had to go to “Computer Lab” throughout your elementary school years (unlike old fuck Steve, who was in elementary school when they were still rocking the mimeograph).
And during Computer Lab, you would get excited when it was “Oregon Trail” day.
For all of you old timers (Steve), [...]