I’m a total drag…. (NSFW)

We sat down to watch this porno clip and the first thing out of my mouth was “Do you know how much that chair is worth now?”
Click on this link for the video:
Vintage Hairy Broads Eat Pussy – Pornhub.com
Here’s the chair:

That’s probably TWICE what they paid to make the movie!

Fat Ass Fridays

Please kill me.
It’s hard enough to be a fat girl.
And now we have this?
Because mumu’s weren’t enough?

This one is even more ridiculous.
Yes, I am overweight. But when the day comes when I can’t even bend over to wash my feet, I’m putting down the Beefaroni’s….

This [...]

Warriors Wednesday

Stevie and I have been talking Warriors all week because of last weeks blog, and we realized that there’s three HUGE plot holes in the movie.
Before you start jumping on my ass, let me just state for the record that I, for one, am NOT one of those people that pull movies apart. I [...]

Summer Bums, make me feel fine….

So what the fuck is up with these Summer Bums?
I’ve been seeing more and more “homeless” people begging for money, but they don’t even look fucking homeless!

Pick Up Stix Shitz

Healthy Chinese food is such an oxy-moron, like “jumbo shrimp” and “Armenian with a big cock”. Homemade Chinese food is pretty decent for you , but fast food Chinese food is such a fucking joke – you might as well throw fried noodles on a salt lick.
“YOU EAT EGGRO NOWWWWW!”
Pick Up Stix (hereby referred [...]

Record Hunt

So unlike most fellow record snobs, I don’t have a certain list I work off of, I don’t have a “holy grail” record that I’ve been searching for forever.
But there are two records I’ve been on the hunt for…
Here’s the first one:

Uh, hello? Who WOULDN’T want this record? It’s only 4 songs, and they’re pretty [...]

Things That Myrtle Hates

1) People that use dirt bikes as legitimate means of transportation.
2) Fat guys that have attitude. I can’t tell you how many fat guys I’ve gone out with that had the nerve to criticize my weight. Or like the guy in the ice cream aisle at the grocery store that was blocking the aisle – [...]

Yo’ Mamma’s Day

It sucks having a dead mom on Mother’s Day.
Not because you’re mom is dead, but because people wont stop bugging the fuck out of you…..

Another day, another tax payer dollar….

So Myrtle has had a really shitty day.
The Myrt Mobile took a major shit, and it put Myrtle in a majorly shitty mood.
And I’m dead tired.
And I’m super horny.
So when I get like this, I like to treat myself to something good….

Dueling Myrtles

If you’re around the same age as Myrtle, you had to go to “Computer Lab” throughout your elementary school years (unlike old fuck Steve, who was in elementary school when they were still rocking the mimeograph).
And during Computer Lab, you would get excited when it was “Oregon Trail” day.
For all of you old timers (Steve), [...]