Meat is Myrtle
Choice cuts of prime bitching.

Archive for the 'Life at the Ranch' Category

I’m a total drag…. (NSFW)

September 14, 2009

We sat down to watch this porno clip and the first thing out of my mouth was “Do you know how much that chair is worth now?”
Click on this link for the video:
Vintage Hairy Broads Eat Pussy – Pornhub.com
Here’s the chair:

That’s probably TWICE what they paid to make the movie!

Snippets, Part 367

August 4, 2009

Myrtle likes herself some fancy root beer.
I usually get the Dog’s N’ Suds (my favorite), but I thought I’d try out a different one to see if it could kick The Pup’s ass.
So in this fight we have the returning champion, Dog’s N’ Suds, versus Berghoff.

You can’t feed a cat LP’s…..

July 29, 2009

Hey Mr. Canacorn (a.k.a. “Corn” )…
Even my cat has a Jackie Gleason record collection…..

To all the ice cream I’ve loved before….

July 29, 2009

I went grocery shopping today. I’ve been on this ice cream kick lately, so I stopped at the ice cream aisle and I checked out the Ben n’ Jerrys.
I never was really a fan until lately. Maybe because I was never impressed with their fucking hippie jack-off flavors and causes? Yeah, that was probably it.
But [...]

Go Team Myrt!

July 28, 2009

A  friend of The Myrt on MySpace  posted a blog about T&C Surf Designs. So I went to check it out.
He posted 2 tiny little pictures.
Sigh.
So those 2 tiny little pictures took me back and it made me think of my megaphone.
Or as I call it, The Myrtleyeller.

Fat Goo likes to yell too!
So here’s how [...]

Myrtle’s pussy is an asshole…..

April 24, 2008

ARGH!
Fat Goo has been a fat asshole lately.

A Bug Story…..

April 17, 2008

As soon as Matt came home from work, I marched into the main house with my hand on my hip and said -
“We need a bug zapper!”
“Guh?” said Matt as he sat on the filthy flowered couch with one of his shaved bitches.

A Typical Morning for Myrtle

February 26, 2008

Myrtle is usually one of those people that is always on time, and I hate it when other people are late (and NO, I am not talking about you, Jayson). I understand that shit happens and everyone is late on occasion, but I’m talking about people who are constantly, habitually late.
Myrtle is becoming one of [...]

Eat Fresh! (Obviously I dont mean your mom)

February 12, 2008

So Norco has a Subway.
Myrtle was glad when it opened up. It was close, and it was in the same shopping center as Staters and the loogie laundermat, so it was convenient. But seriously, it’s a fucking joke.